Black Christmas (2019) Review

xmas

RATING: .5/5

[SPOILERS]

A group of college girls is attacked when masked killers come to their dorm.

You know, I haven’t seen the original 1974 film, but I can say now that I’m most looking forward to it. Because frankly, this remake left a bad taste in my mouth. Oh boy, it did.

The characters were very two-dimensional. There was no depth to any of them and one won’t remember their names by the end. Their performances were ok, but there was nothing there.

The dialogue was not interesting in the slightest, which I’ll get into later.

My first problem with this was how VERY boring this was. I knew it wasn’t going to be that good from the trailer, but maybe it could have been cheesy bad. No, there was little to no cheese factor in this. The film played itself straight which was fine, but the execution of it was sloppy.

As with any boring horror flick, there needed to be loud jump scares to try and get someone scared. Thankfully they didn’t make me jump or the people in my theater. It seemed like the slugfest had already made us numb. There wasn’t any reaction that I heard from them. It was silence. The couple sitting next to me would rather be on their phones. Normally I would have an issue with that for obvious reasons, but for this crap, I didn’t mind it.

But going back, there wasn’t a hint of suspense or thrill in this. I was hoping the kills would be redeemable, nope. This was probably due to the fact that this was a PG-13 horror flick, which was the wrong way to go Blumhouse. I expected better from you guys.

Another big problem was the SO obvious message of female empowerment. Look, I’m all for women getting their rights. I really do. But this had to be one of those projects where it depicted all men being the root of all evil. They are all evil, have all the power, and disrespect women to their liking. Cut me a break. I mean the opening quote sets the mood very clearly. Whenever some of the characters said any of this kind of stuff, I wanted to scream SHUT UP.

“Black Christmas,” was a very boring and annoying film that no one should see. This was an extremely weak horror film with an annoying message tagged with it. Save your money.

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